A lot of people in my professional life have had issues with diet, energy levels, and sleep. So myself being troubled by these things is pretty normal, really. Of course, I have special snowflake versions of these usual troubles, and it all comes down to sleep.
I can't stay awake.
I am perpetually on the verge of falling asleep, forcing myself to try and not sleep. It's especially bad in the afternoons. I'm seeing a specialist about it, and hopefully it should go away soon, with the help of medication.
But not yet.
No, for now it is a daily struggle - which some days, like today, I lose. Most days, in one way or another, I lose, actually. Whether it's focus or the sheer time lost to being on the edge of unconsciousness and slipping over, I just can't live the life I want to. I can't drive unaccompanied for more than 20min. I have to be very, very careful when and what exercise I do, because most of it's dangerous - requiring concentration and alertness I am unable to summon. Food's a nightmare - I just eat what's safe(ish), and I just don't have the time or the energy to put together a proper eating plan, much less execute it. If I could, I'd live on meal replacements, because frankly, they don't require time or energy to prepare - but finding one that isn't disgusting *and* fits my intolerances takes time and energy. Nothing to do with weightloss, here (although that is an eventual goal of mine) - more just getting the vitamins and nutrition I need in a low-effort way.
I have hope for this coming year - that I will get healthy, get fit, have time to pursue creative things like learning clarinet, that I will find foods that work for me, spend more time with friends. But all these rely on having the sheer time - and, incidentally energy levels - of a normal, functioning adult.
Until then, however, I'll have to ask my friends and loves to bear with me for a little while longer. I want to spend time with you; I want to be there for you; and I'm sorry for the way I've neglected you all over the past year.
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
Sunday, 2 January 2011
The silly season, and the silliness involved
So, Christmas happened again.
This year was pretty relaxed. The inlaws were in Melbourne, and we went up the coast to stay with my parents for a few days. Perfect beach weather with the pouring rain and blowing wind.
On the upside, I did get to spend a lot of time with my parents, who are truly awesome people.
We drove up (in the usual fascinating Christmas Eve traffic), went to Midnight Mass, had champers, and opened presents. I got some really awesome earrings (shiny), blank dice (squee!), money towards wine textbooks (awesome) and some fabulously fashionable reidel stemless shiraz glasses (yay!).
I was also completely offline for twitter, email and sms, because my phone did not believe in working 3g at Caloundra. So, sorry twitter peeps, and people who sent me messages - I didn't get them until I got back to Brisbane on Wednesday, and I declared twitter bankruptcy and didn't read my 8k message backlog.
It was a good holiday, despite the rain that blew in, got into a power socket, and took the house power down one evening. And the fog that settled over the house and made the floors into puddles for a day. But, I got lots of good time with the other half, which made it all good.
I even got up to Maroochydore to go boxing day shopping with Mum. I got new sheets made of bamboo. And found interesting things, and gave up on the thing after a while once I had what I needed, and went and sulked for two days because I was all peopled out.
There's a cafe in Caloundra where I can have a CHOICE OF THREE THINGS FROM THE CAKE CABINET WHICH IS AMAZINGLY AWESOME. *cough* Sorry, first time I've been able to have anything at all from the cake cabinet with my coffee since May.
It's the little things.
New Years' was spent in the company of good friends who we don't get to see as often as any of us would like. It was a good evening.
All in all, a wonderful silly season was had.
This year was pretty relaxed. The inlaws were in Melbourne, and we went up the coast to stay with my parents for a few days. Perfect beach weather with the pouring rain and blowing wind.
On the upside, I did get to spend a lot of time with my parents, who are truly awesome people.
We drove up (in the usual fascinating Christmas Eve traffic), went to Midnight Mass, had champers, and opened presents. I got some really awesome earrings (shiny), blank dice (squee!), money towards wine textbooks (awesome) and some fabulously fashionable reidel stemless shiraz glasses (yay!).
I was also completely offline for twitter, email and sms, because my phone did not believe in working 3g at Caloundra. So, sorry twitter peeps, and people who sent me messages - I didn't get them until I got back to Brisbane on Wednesday, and I declared twitter bankruptcy and didn't read my 8k message backlog.
It was a good holiday, despite the rain that blew in, got into a power socket, and took the house power down one evening. And the fog that settled over the house and made the floors into puddles for a day. But, I got lots of good time with the other half, which made it all good.
I even got up to Maroochydore to go boxing day shopping with Mum. I got new sheets made of bamboo. And found interesting things, and gave up on the thing after a while once I had what I needed, and went and sulked for two days because I was all peopled out.
There's a cafe in Caloundra where I can have a CHOICE OF THREE THINGS FROM THE CAKE CABINET WHICH IS AMAZINGLY AWESOME. *cough* Sorry, first time I've been able to have anything at all from the cake cabinet with my coffee since May.
It's the little things.
New Years' was spent in the company of good friends who we don't get to see as often as any of us would like. It was a good evening.
All in all, a wonderful silly season was had.
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